Destiny or "Life is what we make it?"

So this really is the midlife! 

One of my female teachers in  med school shared with us her story when guys at the bar/disco (during 80s) would distance themselves from her upon learning that she was a doctor. Her profession became the biggest  holdback for the guys to even ask her on a date. So she came up with a clever solution. When asked, she would always say she was a medtech (as her pre-med course) and guys would seem interested on her. 

They say women are like a fish in the ocean. When you're small, a lot of fishes will surround you and won't mind your presence. But as you become bigger, some of the fish, especially the small ones will get intimated by your presence and as much as possible won't go anywhere near you.

Don't get me wrong, I am not saying men are insecure, but I think they are just being practical and realistic. Let's admit, we see women doctors as high maintenance and might expect more form their husbands.

I'm telling you this because I didn't wanna be a big fish. When I decided to quit med school, my ideal life ahead was to get married at 28-30,  I'd a have good career, a husband who is a good provider at the same time supportive of my decisions, have our own kids and a nice home, we'd visit my family and in-laws on Sundays or special occasions and travel once in a while (like the ideal family in the movies).

28-30, guys.

Oh well, life is not always in your favor. What I have now is a career, a nice home and a nice travel once in a while. Something's missing here.

A few more years and I'll be in my fourth decade in this lifetime. I was hopeful but  the hope slowly deteriorates like a woman's hormones when she reaches late 30s.

I read one article about this Philippine DJ who had her eggs frozen because she was 35 and unmarried. She said she needed to have a back up plan when she decides to have a kid in the future but is destined to be single forever. Said she has the capacity to raise kids even without a husband but at least the kid comes from her own flesh and blood. Her own choice.

Made me ponder. No doubt it's good to have a kid of your own but for me, adoption is no less than having your own. Parenthood is not about having kids of blood relations but more on sharing love and care, raising beautiful children, sharing with them good manners and life lessons, and eventually taking pride in having raised such fine and God-fearing adults in the making.

I always think about this but there are times I'd block this thought and start thinking whatever will be, will be.

Que sera, sera.